Question: I’m only three months into my New Romance, but living apart, it’s killing me–yet I don’t want to jump the gun and inhabit the lesbian cliche’ of UHauling too soon. How do I cope?
Yes. Yes, I understand. Your shoes? I have worn them, I have walked 2500 miles in them, back and forth across the US when my ladyfriend lived in Portlandia when our romance first began. That was hard. I wanted, more than anything, than to have the option for some part of my body to be touching some part of her body ALL THE TIME. Being away from her was gut wrenching, and we were filled with longing. Pining, really.
But, um, when we were together? IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING because of the pining and the longing and the whatnot. The missing made the meeting sweeter. Or the mating, whatever.
Because we couldn’t be together all of the time, spending time together felt precious and luxurious. It heightened the already super-alert falling in love feelings, and we always had something to look forward to. Waiting also made the falling in love period last longer, which was thrilling, and on this end of things, I am really grateful for it.
I could fill this column with the typical admonishments like, “How well do you really know her at this point?” and “Too soon, too soon!”, but I won’t, because I bet you’re already saying those things to yourself. I want to encourage you to enjoy the excitement and thrill of being apart-because it means you’ll be together again!
Cardinal Rule: What’s the rush? Relish in the pining, the romance of being apart, because the being apart is what makes the being together so much fun!