Dan Savage writes an advice column called Savage Love (no click through, sorry) for the Seattle paper The Stranger. He is called America’s only advice columnist, and he often answers questions as if his lived experience (as a privileged, white, cisgender, thin, currently able-bodied man who happens to be gay) is the only one that matters, a yard stick by which all human interactions of love and sex should be measured.
With Cardinal Rules, I intend to offer an alternative to Dan Savage’s narrow-minded brand of advice-dispensing.
At the very least, I am not narrow-minded. On my best days, I practice intersectional feminism, with nearly two decades of experience teaching and training folks about relationships, communication and respect.
Like Dan Savage, I am white, cisgender, currently able-bodied and gay. Unlike Dan Savage, I am a fat woman with a working class background. I am also not a bully. And I am a professional advocate and educator.
Cardinal Rules is a place to seek non-judgmental, compassionate answers to some of the toughest questions about life, love, sex and all of the other stuff. In addition to answering questions submitted by readers, I will also occasionally re-answer questions that Dan has screwed up.
Your lived experience matters to me. You matter. The only real Cardinal Rule is that you are the expert on your life. If you want guidance, I am happy to give it, respectfully. You can send questions to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
and a gracious h/t to Melissa McEwan of Shakesville for the name suggestion!